Comments on: Why Criticize? http://iansidden.com/2009/12/why-criticize/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed Wed, 09 May 2012 10:28:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Ian http://iansidden.com/2009/12/why-criticize/comment-page-1/#comment-331 Ian Tue, 22 Dec 2009 03:49:00 +0000 http://beginning-singer.iansidden.com/2009/12/1749/#comment-331 Yes, I agree. I do not expect that criticism will vanish at any point in the near future, but I do hope that those who are in a position to criticize consider alternatives. For those who are likely to receive criticism, it is absolutely true that they must grow a thicker skin and trust their plan. <br><br>Thank you. Yes, I agree. I do not expect that criticism will vanish at any point in the near future, but I do hope that those who are in a position to criticize consider alternatives. For those who are likely to receive criticism, it is absolutely true that they must grow a thicker skin and trust their plan.

Thank you.

]]> By: Duane http://iansidden.com/2009/12/why-criticize/comment-page-1/#comment-330 Duane Tue, 22 Dec 2009 03:18:59 +0000 http://beginning-singer.iansidden.com/2009/12/1749/#comment-330 We are criticized daily. While driving recently, I missed a turn. I got off at the next and unfamiliar exit. I paused at the intersection to consider my options. The driver behind me let me know their displeasure by a non stop blowing of his/her horn. I gave them my blessing by pointing to the heavens with a single finger. Were they were right to criticize me by blowing their horn. They were certainly within their rights. We live in a country of free speech. Was I right? Actually, I probably could have been prosecuted for an act of indecency, although I defy anyone to tell me what the single finger gesture actually means.<br>What is the point? It has taken me years to realize that criticism is only minimally useful and could be dangerous. Why one? Because a negative comment is far more damaging than a positive comment is constructive. I read somewhere (with apologies to the author) that a negative comment takes seven positive comments to offset it. Most criticism is given with no regards to the consequences. Why two? Most criticism is too general. You were great! I didn’t get it. We can only change behavior by reducing each endeavor to the smallest task within that endeavor, perfecting it, and then building from there. It is not the job of your friends or, for that matter, the critics of the New York Times or any other paper to do that. Why three? Because even the people who should be able to break things into their smallest task (your teacher, your director, you boss), are often not vey good at it.<br>My point? You are going to be criticized, sometimes by people with good intentions, sometimes not, often in a not very competent way. Only you can decide whether the criticism will be useful or debilitating to you. Truly, you should cull what is useful, drop that which is not, and move on. Forget it! It requires a thick skin to be successful in the arts, in business, in sports, or whatever your endeavor. You should have a vision of what your successful life looks like, create a plan to achieve it, work the plan, and throw off discouragement as you work the plan. Letting criticism derail you is an excuse to accept failure. No one can do damage to you unless you let them. This is a bit simplistic, but I believe that if you work from your values towards your goals, throw off discouragement, then all will be well. Wish I had learned this sooner. We are criticized daily. While driving recently, I missed a turn. I got off at the next and unfamiliar exit. I paused at the intersection to consider my options. The driver behind me let me know their displeasure by a non stop blowing of his/her horn. I gave them my blessing by pointing to the heavens with a single finger. Were they were right to criticize me by blowing their horn. They were certainly within their rights. We live in a country of free speech. Was I right? Actually, I probably could have been prosecuted for an act of indecency, although I defy anyone to tell me what the single finger gesture actually means.
What is the point? It has taken me years to realize that criticism is only minimally useful and could be dangerous. Why one? Because a negative comment is far more damaging than a positive comment is constructive. I read somewhere (with apologies to the author) that a negative comment takes seven positive comments to offset it. Most criticism is given with no regards to the consequences. Why two? Most criticism is too general. You were great! I didn’t get it. We can only change behavior by reducing each endeavor to the smallest task within that endeavor, perfecting it, and then building from there. It is not the job of your friends or, for that matter, the critics of the New York Times or any other paper to do that. Why three? Because even the people who should be able to break things into their smallest task (your teacher, your director, you boss), are often not vey good at it.
My point? You are going to be criticized, sometimes by people with good intentions, sometimes not, often in a not very competent way. Only you can decide whether the criticism will be useful or debilitating to you. Truly, you should cull what is useful, drop that which is not, and move on. Forget it! It requires a thick skin to be successful in the arts, in business, in sports, or whatever your endeavor. You should have a vision of what your successful life looks like, create a plan to achieve it, work the plan, and throw off discouragement as you work the plan. Letting criticism derail you is an excuse to accept failure. No one can do damage to you unless you let them. This is a bit simplistic, but I believe that if you work from your values towards your goals, throw off discouragement, then all will be well. Wish I had learned this sooner.

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