In the past few weeks, I have been involved with a lot of criticism, both giving and receiving. I would like to share some concerns I have with criticism in this post.
Julia Cameron talks about the challenges of criticism in her wonderful book The Artist’s Way
Pointed criticism, if accurate, often gives the artist an inner sense of relief: “Ah, hah! so that’s what was wrong with it.” Useful criticism ultimately leaves us with one more puzzle piece for our work.
Useless criticism, on the other hand, leaves us with a feeling of being bludgeoned. As a rule, it is withering and shaming in tone; ambiguous in content; personal, inaccurate, or blanket in it condemnations. There is nothing to be gleaned from irresponsible criticism.
The trouble, from what I have observed, is that accurate criticism tends to be received very often like the “useless” criticism that Julia Cameron describes. In “The Neuroscience of Leadership” David Rock and Jeffrey Schwartz present the following finding to illustrate the trouble with changing someone’s behavior:
In many studies of patients who have undergone coronary bypass surgery, only one in nine people, on average, adopts healthier day-to-day habits. The others’ lives are at significantly greater risk unless they exercise and lose weight, and they clearly see the value of changing their behavior. But they don’t follow through.
What I have noticed is that people shut down when they are criticized. Personally, I get angry and upset if I am criticized too harshly regardless of the accuracy of the criticism. My fight or fight response kicks in, and it’s almost entirely useless to continue because I have been rendered immobile. When I give criticism, the receiver exhibits the same kind of patterns; they shut down and become angry and unreachable.
After explaining the neurological pathway through which we learn and change (which does have connections to the fight or fight response due to an automatic search and reaction to “errors”), Rock and Schwartz summarize the challenges of changing behavior:
Try to change another person’s behavior, even with the best possible justification, and he or she will experience discomfort. The brain sends out powerful messages that something is wrong, and the capacity for higher thought is decreased. Change itself thus amplifies stress and discomfort.
Despite knowing this, I often plow ahead with ill-advised and poorly thought out criticism. My observation is that for the person giving criticism, it is more important to be “right” about the content of their critique than it is for the delivery to be useful for the person being criticized. Often, the receiver is blamed for receiving criticism badly if they get upset, and the whole event gets chalked up to “tough love”.
I am frustrated by this, and I am regularly disappointed in myself when I do not communicate in a way that is fully beneficial for the person being criticized. I am also frustrated when people criticize others, including myself, for not taking into account the effectiveness and destructiveness of that criticism.
What do you think about criticism? Do you have any experience with being criticized where the advice was accurate, but your response was irrational? What did it feel like? Or perhaps you were criticizing, and you noticed that nothing was sinking in? How do you change behavior more effectively? Or should we criticize at all? What is the value of criticism?
Ian,
I would generally say that unless the person you are talking to is already in a position to accept the criticism, then it is useless to bother. Rather, congratulate them on what they did right. If they didn't get the timing correctly, praise their tone instead, that sort of thing. And if you don't think they did anything right, then just thank them for their time and effort in preparing the piece.
And in my experience the only time people are in a position to accept criticism is:
1. When they are your student/subordinate of some kind and you need to evaluate their performance for learning purposes.
2. When they are a close friend and they ask you for an “honest” appraisal of their performance.
And even then — don't be too harsh!
Keep Singing!
Thanks for the response, hazelnutmegan. Emphasizing the positives of people's work is always important. And you make a good distinction about someone's position to accept criticism.
HI Ian! I loved reading the post as I am often in the position of giving/receiving criticism in acting, writing, teaching yoga, pouring tea at an upscale tea lounge. I include the non-arts related criticism because I think that the effects of criticism are universally observable in all fields: criticism often does reflect the subjectivity of a teacher or boss, and is intended to help draw out certain qualities that are considered desirable in performance, in teaching methods, in voice tone. What is difficult for me personally is that in artistic and non-artistic endeavors I strive primarily to be myself, not to be approved of my others. I don't mean this casually, because I don't think being an authentic version of myself is a simple task at all! In my mind it requires freedom, given to myself by my own licensure and by the behavior of others, freedom to move expressively and in an unblocked way through whatever work I am doing. In singing, which I love, it seems like that freedom is often called “finding one's own voice”. This has been difficult for me, because performing voice is my NIGHTMARE (nerves) and because I had some silly voice teacher as a child who told me about my head voice before I was ready and from then on I felt as if the way I was singing was WRONG. So there it is. I want to BE MYSELF in singing, because what is art if not self-expression, but when I sought instruction I learned that my natural way of expressing myself was not right, good, useful. That teacher was not wonderful. And I understand that there are vocal techniques that do exactly what I desire: they free the voice in order that one may more freely express oneself. But it doesn't always feel like that. Bad criticism leads me to feel like I am not accessing my own resources, meeting my own standards, working on carving the precious passage from inner to outer. Bad criticism makes me feel like I have to fit in, and although I want recognition as an artist, fitting in is past my stubborn mind's conception of success. Perhaps in dealing with students they sometimes feel that same way, defensive of their own voices. While this is probably frustrating as a teacher, I think a healthy dose of doubt about people's criticism is neccessary to protect people from the battalions of professional, personal, important sounding critics out there in the world and in the world of art.
In my own experience, my ability to receive criticism is directly proportional to my confidence. Unfortunately, my confidence in my own abilities has not been very high in my lifetime. Therefore, receiving criticism has always been painful! In acting I came to recognize what was useful, but I often would cry at night after a day of heavy direction anyways. With singing, a more personal art even than acting, I learned that I have no tolerance for criticism at all because I am not doing it to sound any particular way (I mean, I want to sound good, but…), or for an audience, I'm doing it just to express myself and feel good vibrations. I stopped being terrified of singing in front of people when I spent several months with friends, musician/farmers, who let me play around and gave nothing but loving support.
I was in Russia studying acting at the Moscow Art Theater, and I befriended a Russian acting student, who chastised me for my distrust of my teachers. He said the only way to get better was to throw yourself on their shoulders completely, and to let their wisdom carry you. I have since realized how my doubt about instruction, my fear that some pedagogue, though well intentioned, will steal my voice. Giving and receiving criticism requires an incredibly trusting relationship, based on the kind of true love that inspired sayings like, “If you love them let them go.”
I always had a distrust of criticism that could be unhealthy for my development. Or maybe I just need to be surrounded by people who love love love what I do.
This was a long reply. And wandering. Let me know if you get anything out of it.
Thinking of you!
Best, Caroline
Caroline,
You're absolutely right about vocal defensiveness. Our voices are extremely personal, and teachers trying to change them is very frightening. Therefore, the teacher has a profound responsibility to proceed with caution. But the teacher must change the student or else they've not had any impact!
I was thinking of writing a full reply here, but I'll just write a follow-up post where I can organize my thoughts a little better. Thank you!
Thank you for discussing these fascinating relationships! I look forward to the follow up post.